Acoustic Neuroma: The Discovery

A Motivational Story

I never heard of an acoustic neuroma until February 2005 when I was diagnosed with one. I couldn't get past the words brain tumor. While I was grateful it was benign, I was still shocked and frightened. I quickly learned my condition was a growth on the hearing nerve that can cause hearing loss, tinnitus (ringing in the ear), imbalance, dizziness, ear pressure, and headaches. Additionally, because the hearing nerve is right next to the facial nerve, the tumor can cause facial numbness, facial twitching, or facial paralysis. My symptoms were hearing loss, tinnitus, slight facial twitching, and imbalance.

This scary discovery occurred when I finally decided to address what I thought was wax build-up in my ear. As a person who never experienced any major health issues, I never dreamed a brain tumor was at the root of my problem. To this day, I will never forget the exact moment the doctor told me the news. I felt I was living a scene out of a soap opera where the poor victim is dramatically taken off guard by a serious illness. The entire experience was surreal for me.

All I Wanted Was My Ears Cleaned Out. How the Hell Did This Happen?

Fear set in as my doctor explained treatment options and potential side effects. Unfortunately, none of the treatment options appealed to me.

My first option was radiation therapy referred to as Gamma Knife. This treatment involves reoccurring blasts of radiation to my brain tumor in the hopes of stabilizing and maybe shrinking the tumor's growth. My second option was microscopic brain surgery. My third option was to wait and see; however, my doctor did not recommend this alternative because of my age. I'm not going to get into the details of each treatment; however, the Acoustic Neuroma Foundation is a great source providing more in-depth information.

The Options Got Worse By The Minute

The bottom line - each acoustic neuroma treatment option comes with various side effects such as: hearing loss; facial weakness or paralysis; eye problems; balancing problems; fatigue; intense headaches, and death. Crazy as it may seem, I most feared facial paralysis and the possibility of not being able to close my eyelids. The thought of vision impairments that could impact my ability to read terrified me.

I wondered how in the hell I would deal with it all. At the time I was not sure. Today, I look back and celebrate, because I did make it through in spite of my tears, my self pity, and my fears. Now, I'm on a mission to share my story with as many people as I can who face a similar fate.

I Made It Through. You Can Too.

I write about my acoustic neuroma experience in a series of sections below. Please find encouragement, motivation, and inspiration as you deal with your diagnosis knowing that others have been where you are and continue on to live their lives to the fullest.

Acoustic Neuroma: The Research

A Motivational Story

The AN Stories I Read Didn't Reassure Me

The acoustic neuroma diagnosis left me emotionally overwhelmed. I left my doctor's office with plenty to think about. I researched the Internet to learn more about brain tumors. I purposely sought to read about other people's experiences. As I started reading, my fear increased to a level I never thought possible. Story after story was negative. Luckily, my doctor connected me with a former patient who experienced favorable results. Additionally, I subscribed to the The Acoustic Neuroma Association's Monthly Newsletter. Thankfully this newsletter balanced both positive and negative stories. I highly recommend this Association for anyone dealing with this type of brain tumor.

The Dry Peanut Butter and The Spaghetti Noodle

Fortunately, my brain tumor was small (around the size of a pea) and located on my right hearing nerve. After exploring the options, I decided to have microscopic brain surgery. The surgical procedure I chose meant sacrificing the remaining hearing in my right ear. For me, it was more important to lessen the risk of side-effects. You see, my doctor described the procedure comparable to removing a small lump of dry peanut butter from a wet spaghetti noodle which helped me understand the delicate nature of the surgery. Fortunately, my doctor is known as one of the best in his field. I made sure to do my homework, because I wanted someone with a very good success rate.

I Felt Like Rocky Balboa Preparing For The Fight of My Life

I waited five months before having microscopic brain surgery. During this time, I worked on my personal growth - spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. My strategy was to enter acoustic neuroma surgery with a positive frame of mind as healthy as I could be. Gathering my resolve, I mentally prepared my mind to think in terms of a full recovery. I prayed more than I ever had in my entire life and focused on my goal. I would be lying if I said it was easy. It wasn't, but I was determined. As a student of self improvement, I relied on every concept and positive motivational tactic I could find.

I was still a little afraid and nervous about my outcome, but that did not stop me. As crazy as it may sound, I started to develop a different perspective of my life. I started to view my acoustic neuroma experience as a blessing, because it forced me to take a hard look at myself.

I Remember Nothing of the Surgery

On the day of my surgery, I mustered courage to see it through. Thankfully, the last thing I remember prior to the surgery was being wheeled into the operating room. The next thing I recall is groggily regaining consciousness in the intensive care unit (This is standard practice after brain surgery). It was strange, I felt a little pain, but the moans and groans of a man across from me caused me more concern for him than I felt for myself. Even as I write this, I can empathize with his pain. How blessed I felt in comparison.

I Want to Share the Positives

I had did it....with God's blessing, I had made it through the surgery.

Acoustic Neuroma: The Recovery

A Motivational Story

Surgery removed my acoustic neuroma. After a night in the intensive care unit, I was moved to a regular room. I was extremely weak and dizzy - everything around me was spinning. Additionally, my left eye felt scratchy - as if something was in it. Also, I couldn't hear out of my right ear, which was to be expected after my surgery. Interestingly, my kids got a kick out of the new hair style I sported. My hair had been shaved off around my right ear. Fortunately, my personal growth over the proceeding months served a major advantage.

I Made It Through

My brain tumor recovery began by spending four days in the hospital. Each day, I regained a little of my strength and worked hard to walk on my own. Once I was able to demonstrate I could walk down the length of the hospital floor, I was released to go home. I went home equipped with pain pills, nausea relief pills, and exercises to help me regain my balance. I experienced several temporary side effects such as facial weakness. I couldn't smile straight or pucker my lips. I couldn't lift the brow over my right eye. Also, food tasted different. Fortunately, I could shut my eyelids, but dry eye forced me to use lubricated drops. I started to wonder if I would be able to wear contact lenses again.

Attitude Is Everything

To make a long story short. I remained positive, did my balance exercises, and concentrated on getting well. Six weeks after my acoustic neuroma surgery, my only remaining side affect was hearing loss and slight imbalance. My life returned to normal. I worked on adjusting to deafness in my right ear. It can be challenging at times - not always fully knowing what direction sound is coming from. But, I'm not complaining. I have way too many blessings.

I Always Give Credit Where It Is Due

God meant for me to go through this experience for reason. I have no regrets for the decisions I've made.

Acoustic Neuroma: Life Changes

A Motivational Story

My entire adult life has centered around building a successful career. My acoustic neuroma experience , however, provided much needed perspective - helping me realize the importance of my family. Throughout my entire ordeal, my family was right there with me and I can tell you my career was the last thing on my mind. I felt fortunate to have the support and love of the people who mattered most. Never should you take your loved ones for granted. Let them know and show them you love them every single day.

Enjoy Your Blessings

Also, I've come to realize that a good life is a balanced life in which family, career, and play must equally coexists. Likewise, my experience reinforced the importance of good health - spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. My life is much more active than it was before. I exercise four to five times per week. I have a closer relationship with God, and I constantly work on my own personal growth.

Fortunately, I still enjoy music and my family's laughter. After my acoustic neuroma experience, little things that used to irritate me no longer do. Best of all, I can still drive, dance, ride roller coasters, and wear contact lenses. Food taste better than ever and I listen better than I ever have before.

Best of all, I have a much greater appreciation for life. I make sure that I'm never too busy to enjoy small things each day.

Adversity Can Be a Gift in Disguise

Yes, life is full of challenges and adversity, but that doesn't mean you can't overcome them. My experience is a testament to that. Luckily, there are many other success stories out there - of people overcoming adversity. The key is to reach deep within yourself, work on your own personal growth and self improvement. Most importantly, rely on a greater power. I did it and so can you.

Acoustic Neuroma: Experience Reflections

A Motivational Story

It Is All About Choices

Some years have passed since my acoustic neuroma surgery. However, I still remember it as if it were yesterday. The entire experience still remains of the scariest events in my life. I promised myself to communicate my experience to help others; because I have to tell you, reading about the negative and terrifying experiences of others with brain tumors only heightened my fear.

The truth of the matter is that most people who post their acoustic neuroma stories are those experiencing negative side effects or those who chose the 'wait and see' approach. When I learned patients with more positive acoustic neuroma outcomes are less likely to post on the Internet, I wanted to be one of the exceptions. I truly want others to realize everything can turn out okay.

The Side Effects

For those of you dealing with serious illness, the experience itself, as well as the potential side effects, are always a worry. You may be wondering if I still experience any side effects from my brain tumor surgery? Yes I do. Most obvious is the complete hearing loss in my right ear.

If you've read my series of articles about my ordeal, you'll learn that I chose to sacrifice my remaining hearing in my right ear to lessen the likelihood of other side effects. Do I regret my decision? Absolutely not! You see, other side effects I experience are minor - my surgery incision itches every once in a while and I suffer slight imbalance every now and then. Nonetheless, my balance has improved since my acoustic neuroma surgery.

As for experiencing other negative side effects, I have none. I have no facial nerve damage, no dry eye, no intense headaches, etc... Nonetheless, the biggest positive side effect....I've experienced is a huge appreciation for life, my remaining hearing, and spiritual growth.

Regardless, I will not kid you - dealing with hearing loss is frustrating and hard at times, but you know what? I'm so appreciative of the hearing I have left that the positive outweighs the frustration. I can't begin to describe how it feels to hear my favorite song. I savor every single sound. I'm so very grateful to hear....period. At some point, I'll post an entire article on hearing loss and how it impacts my life.

Life is Good!

Amazingly, my acoustic neuroma brain tumor caused something very positive to happen to me. I've had the opportunity to meet at least four other people with successful surgery outcomes as well. The really interesting part is that I didn't seek these people out, we just found each other. I met one woman who is a member of my Toastmaster's club. She had surgery to remove her brain tumor three times. I was amazed, because this woman lost hearing in her left ear and the multiple surgeries did cause facial nerve damage to alter the appearance of her face. Nonetheless, this woman is so positive and grateful that she's a complete joy to be around.

There Are Others With Positive AN Experiences

I also learned that my Orkin man had an acoustic neuroma removed in 1998. He's completely deaf in his left ear as well. Again, he's another very positive and happy person. Lastly, I've met an individual at my old place of employment who successfully had his brain tumor removed in 2002. He was so encouraging to me as I went through my ordeal. He told me that the hospital stay was the worse part of his ordeal. I agree. It's strange when I think of how terrified I was of the surgery itself, but I can't remember any of it. One minute I was taken to the operating room, the next I wake up in recovery.

Your Attitude Is So Important!

You know, I still believe my approach and attitude in dealing with my brain tumor made all the difference in the world for my recovery. So for those of you dealing with a serious health issue or a family member with a serious health issue, seek as much information as you can. Try not to just focus on the negative. Lastly, never forget that there are many people out there who have been in your shoes and have successfully recovered. So, be strong, keep your spirits up, and focus on a positive outcome.

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