Anxiety is your worst enemy.

by toshiyuki
(fullerton, ca, usa)

Training for track meet.

Waking up early in the morning everyday is hard. Sun isn't even up yet and you can't see the pavement but I had to run on these black asphalt.

With just a little injury to my feet like a sprain, running become really hard. It was painful with each step I took.

Anxiety is the worst enemy in a situation like this. My mind was playing a trick on me to push harder even though my feet were in pain. I had to improve or I wouldn't have a chance of making it to a track meet.

Working harder on an injured foot is making everything worse. I had to wait until my foot got better but that meant I had to rest for a long period of time. Maybe a couple of weeks. Yes, it is not that long but my anxiety made it look a whole lot longer.

I started Zen practice years back but I stopped. I needed to suppress my anxiousness so I started Zen practice again to calm myself.

I had to sit cross legged on a cushion for my bottom to ease my legs from excess weight. Inflicting pain is not a part of Zen practice. It is pointless to have pain when you are practicing Zen.

Strong concentration and calm breezing is the key to inner peace so I breeze in and hold a little then breeze out. All the while I am staring right in front, not focusing on anything particular but not losing sight of what I am doing.

Even what I did was not proper way of practicing Zen, it helped. My anxiety had disappeared. I could wait what is needed to heal my foot and continue running. I had to tame my mind before I could exercise my body.

Whatever anyone will do, there is always an anxious moments and these moments can work against you. You have to tame these before you can have a successful outcome on whatever you do.