Funny Motivational Phrases, Words, Quotes

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Self motivation from these funny motivational phrases, words, and quotes keeps things fun and light-hearted. Read and enjoy!

Funny Motivational Phrases, Words, Quotes List

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If criticism could cause some to quit, the skunk would be extinct. ~ Unknown

Did you ever notice that knockers are always on the outside?

People always emphasize the negative - no one puts up a sign: Beware - nice dog. ~ Unknown

Fifty-one percent of being smartest is knowing what you're dumb at. ~ Unknown

Competence, like truth, beauty and a contact lens, is in the eye of the beholder. ~ Laurence J. Peters

The only thing some people can achieve on their own is danduff. ~ Unknown

There's a thin line between participation and mockery. ~ Scott Adams

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Action is the antidote for despair. ~ Joan Baez

If we can't alter the tide of events, at least we can be nearby with towels to mop up. ~ Peter David

The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. ~ Dwight D. Morrow

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. ~ Harry S. Truman

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car. ~ Tom Waits

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist; it reduces him to his fighting weight. ~ Josh Billings

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The only person who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor. ~ Unknown

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. ~ Paul Beatty

I will stop at nothing to reach my ambition, but only because my breaks are defective. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

When you reach for the stars, you may not quie get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either. ~ Leo Burnett

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. ~ Charlie McCarthy

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Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because they are looking for ideas. ~ Paula Poundstone

Ambition is the last refuge of the failure. ~ Oscar Wilde

To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics. ~ Hubert Humphey

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on. ~ Homer Simpson

Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else. ~ Unknown

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on. ~ Unknown

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The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything - or nothing. ~ Nancy Astor

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. ~ Unknown

Men are self-confidence because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images becaue they grow up identifying with Barbie. ~ Rita Rudner

All you need is ignornace and confidence; then success is sure. ~ Mark Twain

Confidence is the feeling a person has before he fully understands the situation. ~ Unknown

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