Funny Short Motivational Stories

This page represents short, funny, motivational stories that not only motivate you, but provide a laugh or two along the way. Enjoy the inspiring stories, get the messages, and then use it all to jump start your motivation or to keep going.

Funny Motivational Stories: Reginald's New Diet

Reginald was terribly overweight, so his doctor placed him on a strict diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds," his doctor assured him.

When Reginald returned he shocked his doctor by having lost almost twenty pounds. "Why, that's amazing," the doctor said, greatly impressed. "You certainly must have followed my instructions."

Reginald nodded, "I'll tell you what though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day."

"Why, from hunger?" asked his doctor.

"No, from all that skipping.

Lesson: A different perspective can yield better results. Therefore, learn to be open to all possibilities. Do not short-change potential results with narrow, limited thinking.

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Funny Motivational Stories: A Confession

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little leaving speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his speech.

"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession."

Lesson: Your actions can come back to haunt you in unexpected ways. Therefore, it's best to be true to yourself and always do the right thing.

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Motivational Stories: Doreen Tackles Four Lads

Doreen, aged 79, finished all the shopping on her weekly list at Walmart supermarket. She walked determinedly towards her car which she had left in the car park. There she saw four youths about to drive away in her car. Doreen became agitated and dropping her shopping to the ground, she drew a handgun from her bag and screamed as loud as her lungs would allow at the four miscreants, "I have a gun and I know how to use it. Get out of the car you horrible little men."

The four lads didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran helter-skelter as far away as they could, whereupon Doreen, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. As hard as Doreen tried she could not get her key into the ignition. Then it began to dawn on her why.

She came across her own car a few moments later in another row near by. Putting her bags now, into her own car, she drove hesitantly to the nearest Police Station. As Patricia was recounting the tale to the Duty Sergeant she wondered why he kept giggling and smiling. Eventually he pointed to the end of the counter where dear old dizzy Doreen saw four young lads, faces extremely pale, who were describing how a little old lady, some 5 foot tall, wearing glasses and with grey hair had stolen their car by waving a gun at them.

Doreen was not charged with anything.

Lesson: Remember, your perceptions are just that YOURS. Therefore, try to notice everything about your circumstances. If you look closely enough, there may be clues or signs that things aren't as bad as they appear.

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Motivational Stories: A Parrot Joke

Mrs. Broomfield's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Broomfield's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.

However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant squawking and talking. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid bird!"

To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!

Lesson: Instructions are provided for a reason. You may save yourself tons of grief and pain if you follow them.

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Motivational Stories: Next Time You Deal With a Negative Person Who Makes Your Life Miserable, Think of This Story

A New York woman was at her hairdresser's on Park Avenue getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser.

• Hairdresser: "Rome?" Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome!"
• "So, how are you getting there?"
• Client: We're taking Continental, we got a great rate!"
• Hairdresser: "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late."
• "So, where are you staying in Rome?"
• Client: "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left bank called Teste."
• Hairdresser: "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced."
• "So, what are you doing when you get there?"
• Client: "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
• Hairdresser (laughing): "That's rich, you and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
• A month later, the woman again comes in for a hairdo and the hairdresser inquires about her trip to Rome.
• Client: "It was wonderful, not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.”
• "And the hotel - it was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
• Hairdresser (muttering): "Well, that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
• Client: "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me."
• "Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
• Hairdresser: "Oh, really...What'd he say?"
• Client: "He said, "Where'd you get that crappy hairdo?"

Lesson: Don't let a negative person get you down. If you do, you may be missing a beautiful and wonderful life experience.

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